Quartet of Queens: The Month of Great-Grandmothers (January 2014): #2 Clara

EPSON MFP image

CLARA        

My mother’s grandmother, Clara Wilamena Goettsche Pressel, is less vivid to me than Mae (profiled last week) and also infinitely sweeter.  I have no photographs of her as a young woman, and I suspect her beauty was always of spirit rather than face. The picture above shows her with four of her grandchildren (with my mother second from the left).  When I married Tim I wore her aquamarine pendent set in gold (now belonging to my mother) – something old, borrowed, and blue.

I only have two direct memories of her and a few stories.  I remember the dim light in her cavernous apartment in Grosse Pointe, Michigan.  The rooms were large and well ordered, full of dark red, blue, and cream-colored Persian carpets and walnut furniture.  She served milk to youngsters in the kitchen in red Depression glass which made the milk turn a pale pink.  She loved butter, spreading it thick on crisp breadsticks.  Her face was flat, plain, and broad, and her eyes were kind.

Great-grandma Clara's Red Punch Cups   (photo by Carolyn Warden,  2014)

Great-grandma Clara’s Red Punch Cups (photo by Carolyn Warden, 2014)

Her clothes were expensive but old-fashioned – even as a six-year-old, I could see that.  In 1966, when the mini-skirt dominated the fashion horizon, she wore a navy blue dress that covered her fleshy arms and belly discreetly and hung within a foot of her beige orthopedic shoes. I have learned recently that as a hardworking young woman she helped to sew casings for the sausages sold by the family business, and that later she made many of her own clothes. I can’t help but think she took more enjoyment from sewing fine dress goods than from sausage casings, and as I look at photographs I think often of the Grant Wood’s painting, “Daughters of Revolution” (Cincinnati Museum of Art). My cousin from Cincinnati, who knew Great-grandma better than I did, keeps a large framed print of the painting in her house, and gave me some of the tea cups that Clara kept in her apartment.

Print of Grant Wood's "Daughter of Revolution"--original in the Cincinnati Art Museum (Photo by Carolyn Warden)

Print of Grant Wood’s “Daughter of Revolution”–original in the Cincinnati Art Museum (Photo by Carolyn Warden)

Great-grandma Clara's Tea Cups

Great-grandma Clara’s Tea Cups

She had lived in that Detroit suburb for fifty years, with many weekends and summer days spent at the house on Cherry Beach on the shore of Lake Sainte Claire (the shallow stealth sixth Great Lake that connects Lake Erie with Lake Huron. Until the 1950s she spent winters on the water near Stuart, Florida.  Her two sons, Kenneth and Leslie, were partners in her husband’s business.  In the 1930s, they built a kind of compound on the then-rustic shores north of Palm Beach, with three airy houses, three ocean-going boats, three shiny Detroit automobiles.

Pressel Palm Pointe, Stuart, Florida: winter complement to Grosse Pointe, Michigan

Pressel Palm Pointe, Stuart, Florida: winter complement to Grosse Pointe, Michigan

Dock and Boat House, Pressel Palm Pointe

Dock and Boat House, Pressel Palm Pointe

House of Grandpa Les and Grandma Marie, Pressel Palm Pointe

House of Grandpa Les and Grandma Marie, Pressel Palm Pointe

Grandpa Leslie Roy Plays Badminton

Grandpa Leslie Roy Plays Badminton

I have one photo of her daughter-in-law (my grandmother, Marie) strolling along the beach with her sisters, a wide lady of German descent clad in voluminous bathing garb and a cloth turban to protect her permanent waves from the ocean breeze.

Grandma Marie on the Florida Shore, 1940s

Grandma Marie on the Florida Shore, 1940s

A variety of headgear was sported by Pressels in Florida.

MA49

Great-grandma was, by all accounts an active, practical, cheerful person who coped with what life brought–sole charge of a houseful of great-grandchildren stricken with chicken pox, for example. No need to call the parents when all that was needed was oatmeal baths.  Sometimes she could be a little bossy (a by-product, perhaps, of being so capable?) but she didn’t strive to be the center of attention.

MaBillyShirley Florida 1947

Great-grandma Clara (left); Grandma Marie (right).

Great-grandma Clara (left); Grandma Marie (right).

She reflexively did the generous thing: allowing her granddaughters to pick out any doll at Hudson’s toy department at Christmas time, deliberately cooking far more food than necessary for Sunday dinner so it could be packed up and sent home tactfully with young marrieds on a tight budget; driving out of her way home from a special bakery to deliver spritz cookies with dabs of red jelly in the center or birthday cakes with nuts; making her special, vinegar-and-bacon potato salad; pouring out the spicy (then local) Vernor’s ginger ale; enjoying Ritz crackers and ring bologna.

In researching this post, I learned that she drove a pink Cadillac with fins–and had rather a lead foot. For a significant anniversary (50th? 60th?) her husband brought her an enormous bouquet of plastic roses, saying he might not be there for the next one but at least she could enjoy the flowers forever. (She kept them on top of the television.), and that she told the younger people that at eighty it was great to be approaching middle age. She suffered from a heart condition, but, from all I know, there was nothing wrong with her heart.

EPSON MFP image

The other memory I have of Great-grandma Clara is from a visit to her deathbed in April of 1969.  She wanted to see my mother, Jane Clara, again. I was nine years old.  Our family had flow to Detroit from the cool green coast of Oregon where we lived.  We were met at the airport by Uncle Ken, who was my mother’s uncle and Clara’s oldest son.  He was the head of the family businesses and had taken care of his mother’s affairs for many years.

It was brisk in Detroit.  I wore a pale pink wool coat with white piping and white gloves.  The snow cover was gone but the grass was still dormant.  I felt as obvious as an Easter egg in that brown landscape.  We drove straight to the hospital.  My brother, sister, and I waited in the car with Dad while Uncle Ken took Mom up to see her grandmother.  He returned to the car with an unheard of treat – a chocolate Easter rabbit for each one of us.  Mine lay in its container of cardboard and cellophane like Snow White in her glass casket.  As I removed it, it seemed to wink at me.  I bit off  its head, then discovered the head was hollow.  Chocolate shards dusted my coat.  I kept eating.  Later, I felt sick.

EPSON MFP image

The next day, against hospital rules as I was only nine years old, I was taken up to see Clara.  She lay on the narrow bed, clearly very tired, but smiling.  She reached out her hand and I took it.  I sensed weakness and turmoil, and I wished somehow to ease her heart, but I didn’t know how.  I was glad Mom was there, because she always knew what to do. What was most vivid to me was Clara’s aura of kindness.

Thirty years later, I learned that Uncle Ken had taken Clara to a lawyer’s office on the way to the hospital.  There he had had her sign a revised will, rechanneling the primary assets away from our branch of the family to his own grandchildren, who had been recently orphaned.  Clara died soon after we returned to our own coast.  Those beautiful Persian rugs were disposed of at a garage sale, perhaps the artificial roses, too.

Grandpa Leslie Roy, Great-grandma Clara, Grand Uncle Ken

Grandpa Leslie Roy, Great-grandma Clara, Grand Uncle Ken

In the years between then and now, Clara’s sweet nature has become a legend. I think of her often. I wish I had a few more memories of her, had had more time with her. I hope she died with a peaceful heart. If there is a heaven, I like to think of her tooling around it in a shiny pink-finned vehicle, the back seat filled with grandchildren, boxes of cookies, and heaps of flowers.

pink cadillac with fins

Signature2

Thank you for reading this! If you think of someone else who might enjoy it, please forward it to them. And, if you are not already a subscriber, I invite you to subscribe to the Wednesday posts I am sending out each week–it’s easy, it’s free, and I won’t share your address with anyone!

Quartet of Queens: The Month of Great-Grandmothers (January 2014) #1 Mae

Family Tree

Since just before Julia was born, I have been more interested in genealogy. I am now convinced of the importance of writing down the memories I have and the stories I hear. (Like Herodotus, father of history, I think it is important to write them down whether they can be verified or not.)

When Julia was a baby, I started gathering information to create a family tree–or, perhaps more accurately, a “tree of progenitors”, since the information doesn’t include brothers, sisters, cousins, additional marriages, and so on. Instead of Julia being situated as a leaf on a family tree, she is the locus around which her direct ancestors are arranged in the symmetrical fashion of a Palladian window, retreating in algorhythmic progression as far as we have information. Just before Julia was born, I asked an artist friend, Marilyn Larson, to write in the names in her beautiful handwriting. As you can see below, she did much more, creating a design that incorporated watercolors of our labyrinth and objects from our home and life (wild roses; the Bear Paw quilt I made for my sister; Ursa Major; and our dog, Luna.)

Family Tree with My Great-Grandmothers

Tim’s family is on the left, mine is on the right. They march back symmetrically through the generations: 2 parents, 4 grand-parents,  8 great-grandparents, 16 great-great-grandparents, and so on. Some lines are much shorter than others: they exist but cannot be known since we have nothing written down. That gives me a chill. Why? I am quite sure that these people were full of fears and desires, laughter, heartache, and achievement. Yet just a few generations later, they are smoke. Poof! Gone. Passion for living spent. Not even a name remaining.

Well, for my great-grandmothers,(Julia’s great-great-grandmothers) we do have the names, even a few memories and stories.  I have remembered and gathered and written down what I could. Over the next four Wednesdays, I am making one post each for four very different women, each of whom is my great-grandmother. The personalities and available information for each also differs significantly. I don’t know why, but I am convinced that it is important to document this family members in all their warty, beautiful humanity, beginning with my father’s mother’s mother.

QUARTET OF QUEENS

So far as we know, we don’t choose our relatives.  We work with the hand we are dealt, because we can’t fold.  Time and distance makes it easier to see the ties that link us to those who lived long ago and share our genes if not our memories or dreams.  I don’t claim to see myself or my parents objectively.  Even my grandparents are a bit too close for that.  But, somehow, the great-grandmothers are distant enough for inspection, yet close enough for a felt connection.

MAE

Mae Young

My father’s grandmother, Mae Kragh Peterson Danielsen, grew up on a farm outside Weyawega, Wisconsin.  She was fiercely ambitious and wanted to live away from the dirt, the stench, the unrelenting work that farm life entailed.  Mae was very beautiful in her youth, with a long, white neck, blonde hair, and eyes as blue and cold as the Baltic sea.

When this full-blooded Dane married early, she left farm life in the dust as soon as she could.  She whipped her gentle alcoholic husband, Chrissy (another Dane), into town, much as she would a slow horse.  Eventually, he would bolt, and they divorced.  My grandmother, Phyllis, cried that one time when I asked her to tell me about her mother.  Mae moved the family to Appleton, Wisconsin during the roaring twenties.

Mae was restless, active, and shrewd. In time, she grew moderately rich on city real estate. Below is a photo of the last house she occupied, on Loraine Court. I remember the house better than I do her, because it was just a few blocks from my high school, and during my last year of high school it was the home of my Grandma Phyllis, Grandpa Charles, and my aunt, Debbie.

Lorraine Court Appleton WI

In her prime, I was told, still married to Chrissy, she enjoyed the company of other men. When found out by her adolescent daughter, Mae bought Phyllis expensive clothes and long, elegant, pointed shoes to ‘keep her mouth shut,’ Grandma told me.

Chris, Phyllis, Mae

Chris, Phyllis, Mae

Mae used her beauty as a weapon,  and she had other weapons, too, everything from a tone of voice to the back of a hand.  People said (after Chrissy) she’d have to find a saint to marry her.  They also said that she’d found him in Jim Danielson.  Gentle Grandpa Jim had come from Denmark as a young man to work as a lumberjack in the Big Woods of northern Wisconsin.  Six decades later, he kept the music of his mother tongue, even as he spoke English with great courtesy.  Because he lived until I was in high school, I have more memories of him. I also have his axe.  It resembles the form I remember him having: long and slender, silver-headed.  Jim and Mae married when she was already a grandmother, but he was the grandfather my own father knew and loved.

Mae, Richard (my dad), and Phyllis

Mae, Richard (my dad), and Phyllis

Of all my great-grandmothers, my memories of Mae are the strongest.  I can’t recall her speaking to me, but I remember her agitation, her wall-to-wall wool carpets the color of liver, her flaky pie crust, her fragile Danish dishes and how particular she was about how they were washed and dried.  I remember family dinners at which she presided:  the food flavorful and all those gathered for dinner slightly afraid of her.  Her face in old age grew pointed and thin, like the face of the mink Grandma Phyllis wore clipped around her shoulders on Sundays.  I have Mae’s blue oval wool tablecloth with the short fringe, the wrong shape for my table.  I also have photos of her that fascinate me.

In the first, she is a small figure, barely distinguished, yet somehow a focal point.  She stands away from the farm that is now dust, outside little Lind Center, Wisconsin. The farm and the town, too, have disappeared from the maps.  There are two men, a team of horses hitched to a wagon, a farmhouse.  Mae stands holding the handle of a baby stroller in which my grandmother, Phyllis, sits.

Farm near Lind Center, WI

Farm near Lind Center, WI

Back of Photo of Lind Center Trim

Another was taken the day of her wedding to her first husband, Chrissy.  He looks stunned, his hair parted as though with a hatchet.  He sits, while she stands behind him.  Long-stemmed carnations are pinned to the lace at the shoulder of her dress, upside down, as though they are hung up to dry.

Mae Chris Wedding

The last photo is close-up of her face.  She is in her 50s, long before I knew her, but about the age I am now.  She has heavy jowls, red lips, the intent focus of a predator about to pounce.  Her smile unnerves me so much I hide her picture even now.

Mae Middle Age

I have heard how Grandma Phyllis would drive to see her, a journey of six hours. In the last hour, near Fond du Lac, about sixty miles from Appleton, Phyllis would begin to chain smoke.  You never knew just when or how Mae would strike.  Mae was famous for her lemon pie, a light golden crust and a sour bite under the sweet.

The story I can’t forget is how, once–finally–when Mae lifted a hairbrush against her four-year-old granddaughter, Debbie, in a sudden spat of anger, Phyllis finally spoke up.  Catching her mother’s wrist in mid-swing, Phyllis said in a low growl, “If you even touch my daughter, I’ll break your arm.”

May Fancy

When I think about this, and when I look at these photographs, I am reminded that determination is a powerful force for either good or ill. I understand the appeal of fine bones, fine looks, fine clothes  and china, but I can see, too, that finer feelings matter more to me. I also see that the stories that live on after us are only part of the truth, and that we influence–but do not control–which ones are told of us, over and over, out of our hearing.

Easter 1960: Mae holding Leslie, Phyllis, Jane, Debbie with Easter Bunny

Easter 1960: Mae holding Leslie, Phyllis, Jane, Debbie with Easter Bunny

Finally, I see how family stories connect us with the past, and how history itself is a tangle of the family stories we all share.

Mae and Jim Christmas Card

Signature2 Thank you for reading this! If you think of someone else who might enjoy it, please forward it to them. And, if you are not already a subscriber, I invite you to subscribe to the Wednesday posts I am sending out each week–it’s easy, it’s free, and I won’t share your address with anyone!